#461: Bon Iver, 'For Emma'
Jagjaguwar, 2008
Justin Vernon wrote this album when he was very sad and lonely.
Rolling Stone asserts that Vernon forever changed folk music with this. He used auto-tune and weird little vibratos and the moodiest of moody lyrics that were a real blessing for my high school self to listen to.
I felt heard and seen.
Everyone felt heard and seen when this came out.
The teen music world was transitioning from emo-punk to sad sounds. Our angst melted into sadness and became my generation’s most comfortable emotion.
This week I went through the boxes of junk I’d been storing in my parents’ basement. I found a list of goals I must have written when I was about 12 years old – so about sixth grade or so.
The list looks just like my current list:
Practice the piano
Pray everyday
Lose weightEat healthier
No more soda or sugary drinks
No more fast foods
Get acquainted with Beethoven (this is not on my current list)
I didn’t think much of the list until I noticed that I had crossed out “lose weight” and then opted for different ways of expressing the same thing. I was not even through puberty yet. My body was still changing and developing.
This was the beginning of a quiet spiral into disordered eating and diet culture.
I switched schools the next year. I made different friends. I excelled in my classes and I felt an identity outside of my body.
My eating habits became more moderate as I got older but there are still psychological scars from those middle school days.
Justin Vernon writes those scars. He runs his fingers over them and coos them into a state of grace.
This album is a space of healing for us – for all the sad girls and boys.
Top songs: listen to the whole thing